Bare with me...

I was debating on whether I should post this.
Really debating because of how it would make me look.
I'm not to feel vulnerable.
I have never been one to shed light on my inner-workings.
I am one to hide in the security of myself.
So, if you are reading this bare with me.
I may seem selfish for not wanting to say things face to face,
but I think this is the easiest way to share myself with others.

I am an optimist.
I'm in love, absolutely in love with the idea of hope.
Hope gives light to those that are in complete darkness.
It gives and it gives.
Hope is not very selfish, but it does ask for one thing.
It asks that you never stop hoping.
Maybe I've stopped hoping.
I think in light of recent events I've become very apathetic.
Ridiculously apathetic.

To take a quote from Reagan...
"I know in my heart that man is good.
That what is right will eventually triumph.
And there's purpose and worth to each and every life."

Let me digress.
I'm willing to take a hit.
I can't stand it when people don't like me for who I am.
If I did something that irked you, fine.
Don't like me.
But if you don't like for who I am I'm really bothered.
I would never do that to another.

I'm very outgoing.
I'll put myself out.
You'll get to know me very quickly.
Very easy-going.
But to really get to know you have to trust me.
Trust is a very big thing for me.
A really big thing.
I can't understand why, but it is.

I'm always very forgiving.
I'll be peeved for a little bit, but never will I hold a grudge if you hurt me.
I will hold a grudge if you hurt someone that I love though.
Love in the non-romantic sense.

I can say love and truly mean it.
Again in the non-romantic sense.
I love all my friends.
And if it came down to it...
I would probably give my life for each and everyone of them.

I jump into things without thinking much about it.
I have really bad timing about relationship stuff.
I have really bad timing about a lot of things.
I don't regret anything that I did in the past.
Because everything that I've done has made me into what I am today.
If I were to regret the past I would be regretting myself.
In my opinion.

I love to be by myself.
Or in a large crowd situation...
With just a group of friends who are down to talk.
About anything.
I love small groups of close friends.
I love eating meals with friends.
I love eating with another person any time of the day.
Even at the wee hours of the morning.
Because if you're down to eat.
You're down to eat.

When I like someone.
I hide it.
Or try to hide it.
But I'm not one who can easily hide my feelings.
One thing I won't do is tell the person that I like them...except this one time.
I'd rather give up the chance of going out with a person
Rather than having things awkward between the two of us.
I've never had a girlfriend before.
I really don't think I'm ready for one.
One thing I know for sure.
My parents have taught me a great deal of relationships.
Not through their words, but through their actions.
It's really nice to have two parents.

I hate the downfall of the Family and of marriage.
I wish people would marry for all the right reasons.
I wish people would love for all the right reasons.
I wish people would know when to say when.
I really hate it when people give up on love.

I love my family.
I love them and would die for them.
I miss them a lot.
I ate lunch with my dad today (:

This could be the weird side of me talking
But when I don't want to talk to a person anymore
I would rather have them not want to talk to me
Rather than have myself not talking to them.
I don't know if that made sense.
But that example is projected onto a wide variety of situations.

Beauty is justice and grace juxtaposed with one another.
The sunset is beautiful more beautiful than the sunrise.
Another day closer to Love is a settling thought.
I love documentaries more than movies.
Hugs and better than high-fives...mos def!
Orange Juice is my favorite juice.
I am a born again Coke lover.
Because it's better than Pepsi.
'nuff said.

I think I've been in love once in my life.
Just once.
I don't know why.
Maybe because I was older or maybe I wanted to believe in it so much.
I don't know.

I could spend hours shooting hoops.
Let me take that back.
I've been in love twice.
Basketball is my first love.

...as I find myself.

Wow...

I hope I did the right thing.
I did it finally.

I've been playing a lot of guitar recently.
Is it my escape?
Is it my way of coping?
No, I just play a lot because my roommates play a lot.
Yes.

I have been contemplating.
School has started.
Why not?
Why not?...

What was I thinking?

Let's just say...

People are generally going to disappoint.
Friends and going to let you down.
Family will not be there when you need them the most.
At one point in your life you will be left alone wondering where everyone is.
Hold fast.

Situations are going to be tough.
There are times when losing is the only option.
Hard falls will be followed by harder recoveries.
Don't fret.

Giving up is always easier to do.
Letting go seems like the road to freedom.
Everything is crumbling and there is nothing.
Stand tall.

What is color?

I've had enough..

Finally...

Maybe when I'm ready things will get a bit clearer.
As for now I'm in a position of working hard.
Work hard...
Get good grades..
Be good to myself...

Where is it?
My head is missing..
I've must of lost it on the way home..
If found please throw it away...
Just don't mess with it..
I need a new one anyways...

I feel so sick
For the past three days I've been feeling sick..
HAHA...
yeah...

I can get some rest...

Goodness..

I think for now I'm happy
Or rather content...
Or maybe it's just me realizing that I can't change my position in life..
so...I'm not stressing out about it.

The only thing I have to contribute is myself
I need to be myself...more
So...where do we go from here?
Nowhere..

Gracious...