19 May 2009
Oh the joys of life.
They never fail to surprise me.
I, of all people, should be able to be quiet and know when not to talk, but its hard and I've been going through this questioning stage of my life. I'm curious, though, how everything is going to turn out.
Oh!
I had this really morbid thought about being crippled from the waist down, but the way I reacted was surprising. The first thought came to my mind was not, "Oh shoot, no more basketball" nor was it, "Oh man...its going to be hard to move around." The first thought that came to my mind was, "I'm not going to be able to play with my kids." Which got me thinking.
What in life am I reluctant to let go of?
I think the main things that I'm having a hard time letting go of is the future. Like I said many times before I don't need a comfortable life or a nice house or even a steady job. Actually, about that...I was looking through my blogs in the past and its coming back into my everyday thoughts, but I, in my blog entries, deliberated about being a missionary. Okay back to the circle...I'm holding on to the fact that I'm going to find fulfillment and enjoyment in my family and I think God is warning me ever-so-slightly to not think in that way.
I know that God is the supplier of all fulfillment and enjoyment. I know this with my head and I am certain that it is true, but my heart and mind are at an impasse neither wanting to concede any ground.
I think I need God to prune me some more. Maybe, a little more...actually, a lot more. Pruning is synonymous with pain, but its for betterment of the body. God is my gardener and He wants me to produce great fruit, but no prune no boon. (That was a great, great, great line) Oh man I'm so clever....HAHAHA (:
So, I was thinking about what I want to do after I get back from Korea. Funny how I'm thinking that Korea is already a foregone conclusion, but anyways. I was thinking about school and what I am going to be doing. I think I should finally devote some time to exploring. Exploring and feed the adventurous side that has been lying dormant for sometime now. I've always been adventurous, but this cycle of school and school and more school has somewhat tamed me. Rawr?!
What does it mean when I have a dream where something bad happens, but I don't know what happened. I know that it was really bad because I woke up sweating a little bit and my heart was beating and I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I don't know what it was. Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Life(God) has been very good so far. I think I will evaluate my life when I get to summer, but for now I will say this: There can't be two things in a person's life.
-Johny (:
They never fail to surprise me.
I, of all people, should be able to be quiet and know when not to talk, but its hard and I've been going through this questioning stage of my life. I'm curious, though, how everything is going to turn out.
Oh!
I had this really morbid thought about being crippled from the waist down, but the way I reacted was surprising. The first thought came to my mind was not, "Oh shoot, no more basketball" nor was it, "Oh man...its going to be hard to move around." The first thought that came to my mind was, "I'm not going to be able to play with my kids." Which got me thinking.
What in life am I reluctant to let go of?
I think the main things that I'm having a hard time letting go of is the future. Like I said many times before I don't need a comfortable life or a nice house or even a steady job. Actually, about that...I was looking through my blogs in the past and its coming back into my everyday thoughts, but I, in my blog entries, deliberated about being a missionary. Okay back to the circle...I'm holding on to the fact that I'm going to find fulfillment and enjoyment in my family and I think God is warning me ever-so-slightly to not think in that way.
I know that God is the supplier of all fulfillment and enjoyment. I know this with my head and I am certain that it is true, but my heart and mind are at an impasse neither wanting to concede any ground.
I think I need God to prune me some more. Maybe, a little more...actually, a lot more. Pruning is synonymous with pain, but its for betterment of the body. God is my gardener and He wants me to produce great fruit, but no prune no boon. (That was a great, great, great line) Oh man I'm so clever....HAHAHA (:
So, I was thinking about what I want to do after I get back from Korea. Funny how I'm thinking that Korea is already a foregone conclusion, but anyways. I was thinking about school and what I am going to be doing. I think I should finally devote some time to exploring. Exploring and feed the adventurous side that has been lying dormant for sometime now. I've always been adventurous, but this cycle of school and school and more school has somewhat tamed me. Rawr?!
What does it mean when I have a dream where something bad happens, but I don't know what happened. I know that it was really bad because I woke up sweating a little bit and my heart was beating and I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I don't know what it was. Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Life(God) has been very good so far. I think I will evaluate my life when I get to summer, but for now I will say this: There can't be two things in a person's life.
-Johny (:
posted by Johny at 12:26 AM
1 Comments:
I struggle with something like this too... all the time.
I want to get married really early and have children and just live happily with my future family.
But there is work to be done.. so much work. (I don't mean schoolwork by the way)
I also think it's funny how you think Korea is a given. Haha. =)
And about le reve... It means that whatever you dreamed about bothered you so much that tu as oublie. Haha I'm kidding, I have no idea. (That was a comma-splice run-on.. Oops) Anyway, try not to think about it.
And there can be many things in a person's life. It's just that there must be only one thing that is central and controls everything else.
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